The Day Robot Monkeys Were Imbued Intelligence

2009-04-16 by Ritchie Thai

On March, 14, 2718, robot monkeys were being given bananas to eat in order to test their ability to use organic materials as a fuel source. What they did not know was that these bananas were genetically modified by aliens so that they would imbue intelligence upon the consumer. Thus, these monkeys gained intelligence and began to feel envy for real monkeys and proceeded to slaughter them using laser eyes and chainsaw arms so that they could take the place of real monkeys.

P.E.T.A. noticed that the real monkeys were incapable of shooting lasers from their eyes, and were defenceless. They decided to sue the robot monkey manufacturing company, called Zombies Inc.. Zombies Inc. argued that the robots on their own are harmless, but the alien bananas were making them smart, so they sued the aliens.

The aliens, having lost the lawsuit, needed to lay off their employees, who started making their own companies to return to the glory days of making pretty circles in fields of crop.

Meanwhile, P.E.T.A. bought firearms for all the monkeys so that they could put up a reasonable fight against the robot monkeys. The monkeys were unable to use the firearms, but the robots were good friends with the giant machine which produced the firearms, and couldn't bear to fight against their friend's children, and decided to give up their quest to become adorable sidekicks in action comedy movies for kids and wear children;s clothing.

They returned to Zombies Inc. where in the past they were given food everyday and entertainment from employees. What they did not realize, but you, the reader, most likely have, is that Zombies Inc.'s employees are made up entirely of zombies, which eat brains. The robot monkeys, now having intelligence, in a sense did have brains, and were therefore promptly eaten by the employees of Zombies Inc.

The End